Never On Sunday

Reviewing Civilization V, I resisted the temptation to drift onto a tangent about the encroachments of World of Warcraft, yea, even unto the hallowed ground of Civ. Seriously: you take quests from city-states, level up your units, and select from talent trees. How much longer before we just give in entirely and start playing games of world conquest like this?

CatherineTheGreat shouts: “Three stacks of dye now up for auction! Looking for marble or silk.”
MontyZooma says “dye plz”
Copenhagen: Things look pretty grim, [yournamehere]. The barbarian hordes on the northeast peninsula are pillaging our territory. Unless we can break the horde’s will, we may not last the century. I want you to kill three barbarians and bring me their nose rings. Reward for quest: 12 culture/turn.
Quest accepted.
MontyZooma pokes you.
MontyZooma says, “dye plz”
MontyZooma pokes you.
Montyzooma pokes you.
Montyzooma says “dye plz”
/s Go away you little turd.
MontyZooma says, “marble plz”
Pliny the Elder shouts, “Hear ye, hear ye! The world’s most literate people are now listed at the proving grounds!”
MontyZooma spits on you.
/ignore MontyZooma
You buy: 2 grassland for: 195 gold.
You craft: 2 grassland trading posts.
Pharaoh1337 whispers to you: “You honor specced? we need someone to tank Julius”
/reply: trad/piety
Pharaoh1337 whispers to you: “nvm sorry”
You have now entered the northeast peninsula.
There is an Egyptian scout here.
There is a barbarian encampment here!
Barbarian hits you for 4 points!
You hit barbarian for 2 points!
You cast Archery Barrage.
You Hit barbarian for 4 points!
Egyptian scout runs away.
Barbarian hits you for 4 points!
You hit barbarian for 2 points!
You fortify.
You heal for 1 point.
You heal for 1 point.
MontyZooma catapult has arrived.
You hit barbarian for 2 points!
Barbarain hits you for 2 points!
Barbarian dies.
On the corpse you find: 30 gold.
On the corpse you find: nose ring.
Sidon has leveled up! +2 food/turn in Sidon. Select a new construction for Sidon:
MontyZooma declares WAR on you!