Never On Sunday

Many commentators, including myself and even a few on the right, complained about the recent Supreme Court decision that a corporation was entitled to the same constitutional rights as an actual living, breathing human citizen. (Not exactly the strict constructionism the conservative judges claimed to possess back when they were busy curtailing civil liberties.) In particular, the court held that a corporation’s free speech in the form of massive campaign contributions could not be limited, thereby ensuring that big money could continue to buy elections as it has grown used to doing.

But one person is doing more than complaining. One person is standing up and doing what needs to be done, standing up for all the rights of the corporate person. Murray Hill Inc. is running for Congress. The firm is doing so tongue-in-cheek, inviting ridicule on the Supreme Court decision as well as earning a bit of publicity, promising to “eliminate the middle-man” peddling corporate influence to government and vice versa, and to “put people second, or even third.”

Before it can unseat incumbent Christ Van Hollen (D), Murray Hill, Inc. will need to establish its coalition. It seeks to run on the Republican ticket, which seems to me the proper spirit. After all, the Republicans are known to be more overt in putting business before principle. Upsetting the Republican primary would be a shame, but y’know what they say about omelettes and eggs. As the party is unlikely to endorse the corporation, Murray Hill is looking into exploiting a variety of loopholes to run as an independent, and is running on the slogan “the best democracy money can buy.” Like I said, done in the proper spirit.

But God!—for all that it’s a satirical stunt, it’s hard to laugh too hard. Not when we can’t be sure its right to run won’t be upheld in courts, setting precedent for a much larger corporation, with a much better team of lawyers.